I had just resigned from my role as an Assistant Director in the mental health field. On paper, I was doing incredibly well. I had built a reputation, made an impact, and was deeply trusted.

 But behind the success was a woman running on fumes. I was depleted, anxious, and slowly becoming someone I didn’t recognize.

Every Sunday afternoon I would feel the anxiety rise in my chest — panic, dread, and sadness all rolled into one. 

Mondays felt like a battlefield. I was “great” at performing, and that was the tragedy. I had become a master of living for the weekend, surviving the week. (There’s a song lyric that says, “We live for the weekend” — I don’t know the artist, but it hit differently during that time.)

I knew I needed to stop.
Not pivot. Not plan. Just pause.

Before launching fully into my coaching business, I chose something radical: stillness. And this was the time  I signed up for a Vipassana meditation retreat . It offered me 10 days of silence, no talking, no reading, no journaling, no distractions. Just me, my body, and my breath.

🧘🏽‍♀️ What is Vipassana?

Vipassana is an ancient Buddhist meditation technique that means “to see things as they really are.” It involves observing the breath and bodily sensations without reacting to them — cultivating deep awareness, equanimity, and inner clarity. The practice spans 10 days of complete silence, noble solitude, and intensive meditation.

The benefits include:

• Nervous system reset
• Emotional release and clarity
• Detachment from ego patterns
• Access to inner peace and grounded awareness

It was there, in that still and sacred container, that something in me broke open.

I hadn’t cried in years. Life had hardened me — or rather, I had armored up in response to life’s demands. But in that silence, in the Sacred Void, I cracked.
I cried.
I released.
I buried something — maybe it was my ego, or the woman I thought I had to be.
But in that same timeline that felt like it was breaking me, I also birthed something. A quieter, softer, truer version of myself.

When I left Cape Town after the retreat, I wasn’t “healed,” but I was whole-er. And I knew at that
It was the beginning of a shift from survival to thriving.  I didn’t understand it then, nor could i explain it and now I know it to be a journey I now understand to be ongoing, ever-evolving, and profoundly beautiful… when surrendered to.

To be continued…

Love and healing Neo aka

Neo aka the GenieCoach